Let's get real, it isn't only me who think that IT Engineer is freaking cool, is it?
Based on Google Trend the keyword search of Engineer started to increased from H2 2018, interesting! More talents are attracted to work in this industry which probably the reason why lately the number of crushes that I have in my life seems to be significantly increased LOL just kidding.
A few years back, I posted a piece related to my experience talking with engineer which you can read here (Read: My Experience Talking To Engineers in One of Indonesia's Biggest Start-up Company) - having another post about 'em may got you wondered why do I have a big obsession with this IT Engineer thing?
Well, I'm sorry - but for me whom surrounded with a good looking-snob-oil&gas engineer that have a high pride of their title as an engineer with them fully realising that THEY ARE COOL (tbh, nothing worst than this type of guy) since I was a kid, probably will explained why a low-key cool damn smart guy is a figure I found attractive in some ways (and please let me know that I'm not the only one).
And frankly speaking, it's not only the only reason!
The way that most of IT Engineer are barely easy to blend with the convo gets most of us (i.e me) probably even more curious. It's always between one-simple reply or no response. We even hard to name them as "our crush" because no progress even to be seen in a way. It seems a different approach may required because we are handling a different type of kind (?)
And it landed us here, thinking how should we react in front of them to get things more natural......and acceptable? I talked to a few friends of mine who worked as IT Engineers to understand how do they think to a girl whom have crush on them, how we should act and what common issue happened that makes them turned off. I quote some of their statements:
1. "Of course, there's nothing wrong with girl have a crush first. But why would they like us though?"
For some individuals, knowing someone who have crush on them in fact would make them find it overwhelming and tend to closed "the gate".
While some guys stated they "prefer to have a partner from their circle of friend - where they like her first" but do not worry because we got many numbers of other guys that also welcoming and won't judge any girl who have a crush on them first.
These type of guys think that "a feeling" is something uncontrollable and they think any girl has fully right to feel whatever feeling they wanted to have. The likely thing they do is questioning what special about them that makes girl into 'em? I mean can they get anymore humble than this??
2. "Just smile naturally because we basically like someone's cute"
"So what's the first thing you usually found attractive from a girl?" I asked them. I would be giving up if I have to start a conversation with all the codes thing or even talk-shitting about weather if the answer will only be "yea it's raining, so what?". I mean do we have to capable on certain things to be able to talk with you in deeper conversation?
Mainly, they giggles after hearing the question and roll up their eyes to start thinking out loud.
"It's always start with a smile" they said after a few second while nodding.
Interestingly, they think the common problem happen because they used to work by facing a system and not a person. So it's surely not easy to shifting skill to handling a person in sudden time for them. However, a smile would warm their heart and it makes them feel they are seen as "human" after all.
"Sometimes seeing someone smile would send a signal that said 'hey welcome back to the real world, man' after a long day trapped in a system. And everyone is always cuter whenever they smile, don't you think?" State some of them.
Well, you are surely not wrong, sir.
3. "Do not ask why a site has bugs"
Just like other silly girls that apparently keep losing their mind by asking random things just to get their attention, we often ask some stupid questions and that's fine. But just don't do it twice or too much, will you?
I also ask what's the most frequent silly question they received from "a muggle" like us (LOL):
"Probably asking why a site has bugs? I mean I know you are trying your best to stay relevant, but will you be okay when someone goes up to you and ask 'why things doesn't work as expected?' well because sometimes thing just happened."
Easyyy man - but then I realized, I might asked that silly question once or twice purely because of curiosity. But as I understand now, maybe the've been facing and work with all the system a whole day, at the end of the day question about bugs and work related for a casual pick up line feels we don't humanize them in a way.
4. "Just keep it natural, be friend with us first"
Did you know what the most underrated move to your crush? It's to keep it natural and try to be their friend first.
I think it's not only applies to those who into IT engineer but in general when we crushing to someone we have this urgency to try everything we have to be able get to know him and it makes everything feels fabricated.
This is also mentioned by a few of our engineer buddies, sometimes the natural approach and how girls try befriend with them help them easy to ease their burden.
And maybe if we didn't make it to the next step then they can be your-slack-away when things went wrong with your work. So take a note ladies: be casual, be natural.
5. "Just because you know how to code, doesn't means you are special"
We also have a perspective that probably similarity between us and them would make things get smoother in some ways or at least to keep us relevant with them. But there are some touch points of similarity that you may want to leave it that way since it won't make the conversation any further.
This was mentioned by our girl engineer - I bumped into them to also understand their perspective.
"I think the awkwardness would happen when a non-IT guy came up to us and said 'I can code too' - I mean so what then?" She said and the guy next to her approved.
Turned out it's not only once they got "Yo, I can code too!" as a pick up line which makes them confuse how to react, I mean "are you my competitor when it came to job seeking then?". Well you know what, it's good to know someone you like is share the same interest like you but there are so many ways to attract someone other than work-related topic.
6. "Avoid using 'Help me to fix bugs' as your pick up line"
"I will ask them to raise request ticket instead" state one of front-end engineer in clear tone without hesitation when I ask whether bug fixing could be a way for first move.
Girls, chill out, he may don't understand how we are running out of pick up line stocks other than "the stuff" we think quite basic but they prefer to have other general question instead of bugs fixing.
However, some are disagree and thinking probably bug fixing question is not that bad. At the end of the day it depends on the mood and try it out - during the bad day, the question sounds silly but it's not a major problem.
7. "We are not electrician nor hacker, duh?"
"So what's counted as a major problem?" I asked.
They were starring each other and mentioned something about TV remote, handphone, laptop, and stuff in giggles which makes me confuse "Basically we're not electrician, don't expect us to fix your things." they concluded.
While other engineer from different company also mentioned the same: "Don't ask us to fix hardware"
Well, as much as IT engineering field is quite broad and we are not really sure what are the boundaries but asking your crush to fix a quite general stuff is unacceptable! It's not attractive, it's a bothering.
"and don't ask us to hack something" adding the same guy. That's crazy, turned out 3 out of 5 engineers I met mentioned that at least 1 people came to them to ask hack something - the most craziest thing is, their ex account! Girls, don't do that, really.
You guys know that hacking is actually illegal, rite??????
"Ok, it seems to much and a lot of 'don't' - so any suggestion of what your typical of ideal person for you?" I asked.
In overall they want something natural, they don't think they're special and different from other guy so treat them the same would be very much appreciated.
They also mentioned that morning person is mostly not their thing, so don't expect them to reply message too early. Understand the technology and being a "geek" is way more acceptable, so bring your thoughts over the industry and let's have fun!
I think that's quite sum up of my conversation with more than 6 engineers. It surely doesn't represent all, but I hope you got some good points from our discussion. In addition, it seems some point can be applies to any guys and not limited to IT engineer. I enclosed the name and company of each engineers for privacy.
I hope this is something you can find entertaining - or helpful? Fun fact, I may did some silly things mentioned above but I'm passing this phase already and end up with non-engineer guy anyway HAHA so hope this useful for anyone who needed.
Thanks for reading, talk to you soon!